Just over a year ago, a friend whose opinion I greatly respect mentioned that we all have to learn to forgive before we can completely heal. We had been discussing chronic pain issues and how to become healthy, from a mind/body/spiritual perspective.

At the time, I was confused because I didn’t get what he meant by forgiveness, nor how to go about learning to do something I didn’t understand. Still, the comment stuck with me, and I hoped that over time I would learn to understand what it meant. My own childhood included a messy parental divorce and international child-napping (kidnapped by dad). Overall, there is probably still a lot I need to forgive, although I can’t seem to connect to how and why.

Patience means waiting until the time is ripe. I usually expect that something will happen to indicate the time has come for something to change. More than year has passed since the conversation with my friend. Yesterday, in our meeting with Karen’s therapist, she told us that Karen suffered terribly during the first two years of her life, and that helping her overcome the damage was totally in our hands. She alluded to Karen’s “tikkun”, being a function of our ability to help her, and by the way, our own “tikkun”. So it looks like I’ll need to take another look at that whole forgiveness issue again if I am to really help Karen with all my heart and soul.

Interestingly, I’m going to see my friend again soon, after almost a year. I’m hoping something he says will help me click onto the next step towards my tikkun, and thru that, maybe Karen’s tikkun as well. More likely, Karen’s tikkun will lead to my own.

*Tikkun is a Hebrew word that means “repairing” the world, usually in a spiritual sense. I’d be happy if anyone wants to correct me on this, and perhaps give a better definition.