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February, 2012:

and then there was Hope

Feb 27th, 2012
by Zendette.
3 comments

Somehow, things feel a little looser this week. Perhaps it’s because I took Karen to Moshe Elbaum for an evaluation. He’s treated thousands of children with sensory integration issues, as well as learning and behavioral problems. He was amazing during our initial evaluation. He totally “got” Karen, something it’s taken me years to do. Most people, even professionals, tend to assume a lot, and often get it wrong. He saw right through her, and told her straight up what he thought. He spoke to me with her present at all times and put her through some coordination exercises.

When I returned Karen to school, I mentioned to the principal that we were very late today because she had an evaluation with “a guy named Moshe Elbaum”. The principal was suitably impressed at the mention of his name, and said she didn’t realize he was back in Israel. Apparently he had been practicing in the US for almost 20 years before returning to Israel. I discovered that he is very well respected among educators in Israel, where he did his initial clinical trials.

So now we add Moshe Elbaum’s Method to our repertoire. She will of course continue with her therapist, to whom she’s become very attached. And of course Judo and tennis, twice a week each are also therapeutic for her. Next week we have a conference with the school. I think they will feel compelled to continue doing all they can, now that a well known personality in Israeli educational circles is treating our daughter. Name dropping can never be overrated.

A friend suggested I have Karen evaluated by Elbaum more than a year ago. I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to just do it. I would wallow and talk about how guilty I feel, but I don’t. I’m only sorry we didn’t get evaluated a year ago, before the harsh reality of first grade.

Blessed breathing space, kind of

Feb 15th, 2012
by Zendette.
4 comments

Kiftzuba This week the kids seem to be on an even keel. Almost a sense of normalcy even with all the work we’re doing to help K, and with her stuff at schhool going on in the background. Both kids are in the process of getting all their evaluations so we know what direction to aim for in the coming school year.

Matan is continuing with psychological and speech evaluations to present to the municipality so he can get into speech school next year. He just restarted his speech therapy after a short break. He’s really come a long way but the benefits of the speech school go beyond just speech, and should help him close the gaps in his overall understanding of the world so he’s ready to rejoin his peers in kindergarten or first grade.

We’re now halfway thru the process of finally getting a full psych work-up on K to rule out any serious issues. The school wants it, and frankly, so do we. We need some advice “from above” about whether her therapy is doing enough good or whether we should change focus somewhat. Maybe we need to direct more attention, as so many have advised, to sensory integration treatment along with her existing therapy to work on emotional issues. K’s really an excellent student, and takes her homework responsibilities seriously. Her report card was excellent, except for behavior. We have no room to complain at all. That’s why it’s so hard for all the “professionals”, from school to private therapists, to understand why her behavior is so extreme. She’s going to incredible lengths to moderate her behavior during class time, but still loses it during “down” times like breaks and those small spaces before class starts. She also has few, if any, behavioral issues during the after school sports she loves. The coaches are tough and gruff women. K clearly responds well to a caring, but very structured environment. School is often neither.

Still Crying

Feb 6th, 2012
by Zendette.
3 comments

Paralysis is my reaction to the extreme pain I see reflected on Karen’s face each day, for the last few weeks. She’s been shut out by the girls in her class. The boys are willing to play football with her, but don’t want to be friends. And now, even the “nice” teachers and school admins are sick of her anti social behavior. She has only us and home as her refuge from the real world. Even the school principal came up to Karen and DH and told them it’s time to look for a different school. Karen was deeply hurt by the rejection of an authority figure who had, up until recently, done a lot to get Karen to trust her. Now the trust is gone, and a child who has already faced the ultimate rejection, is again abandoned by someone she was expected to trust.

I originally ignored the bizarre statistics I’d heard, that up to 60% of the children in our area are on psychotropic meds to keep them functioning as automatons of the school system. I thought the number was inflated by reactionary parents. But no, I met a teacher from a kibbutz school, traditionally considered “better” schools with smaller classes. She told me about half the students are on Ritalin or it’s relatives. Those numbers are completely crazy. It’s not our kids, it’s the molds they are being forced into by the modern world. It’s making me want to live off the grid…as I ever could!

The school wants us to take some sort of drastic action. We’re not sure what, yet. Meeting the whole crew from school next week to hear the principal’s verdict. They can’t force us to medicate her, but they can make her life, and ours very unpleasant if we choose not to. We suggested they transfer her to a different first grade class, one with a more experienced, and stronger teacher. So far, they’ve refused, but it may be the only option open to them at this point. Of course they wield the ultimate weapon. Apparently someone has mentioned it to Karen, because she’s terrified they are going to suddenly switch her to a different school. I did my homework today and found out it’s not so easy, but if the principal is convinced nothing can be done to turn Karen into a pliable student, like all ordinary, domesticated students, she has declared herself willing to force us out of her school.

Our plan, as parents, is to be as supportive as possible because she really needs to be reminded regularly that she’s not inherently “bad”. Last week, at bedtime, she told me, “I was already bad even before I was born. I’m bad from before I came out of the tummy”. All I can do is keep on pointing out the kind things she does. Her therapist started a book with her, where, at the end of each day, we list the times she was able to overcome her desire to do something to hurt someone else. We also list anything especially nice she has done for others. The point is to keep her focused on the positive actions she accomplishes. She already gets enough attention for the negative ones.

Back to Sensory Integration Disorder?

Feb 2nd, 2012
by Zendette.
3 comments

Frustrated as we’ve been, everything in Karen’s profile of challenges is finally starting to come together. We are truly blessed by an intelligent and caring school psychologist. She called me today to get some background before our follow up meeting at school to determine what’s working and what’s not.

It all goes back to a series of posts I wrote about Sensory Integration Disorder. Karen is hypersensitive to noise and touch. Being packed into a small classroom with 35 other noisy first graders is bound to stress her under the best of circumstances.

The school psychologist asked me some background info, and among other things, asked if I had ever heard of Sensory Integration. I couldn’t believe she was asking me about this. It was almost a year and a half ago when I began exploring this issue. I explained that she had been through a short work up with an occupational therapist who recommended treatment. Unfortunately we weren’t able to follow up with her on the treatment recommendation because the clinic refused to treat Karen since she didn’t meet the standards of having additional delays. I considered finding a private occupational therapist, but around that time, Karen had some improvement in behavior and sensitivity to clothing so I sort of dropped the ball since Matan was swallowing up so much of time with speech and occupational therapy. We also felt pretty well covered since Karen was already under the care of a psychologist whom we trusted to help Karen deal with the emotional side of things.

So imagine my surprise when the school psychologist tells me that Karen’s Sensory Integration issues could help explain 90% of the problems at school! I need some time to digest.