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August, 2012:

Off to a great start!

Aug 31st, 2012
by Zendette.
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I am beyond content with the school situations for both children this year. Karen doesn’t tell us much, but she seems more motivated and less stressed. She has her complaints, but her teacher reports that she has been very cooperative, helpful and hasn’t shown any combativeness. She still likes her after school program after the second day, and about 20 mosquito bites. She worked so hard to improve her behavior so she could go there. All last year she kept asking and begging, and we kept telling her that if she was able to truly improve her behavior, she could go. She succeeded, so we kept our end.

Matan is thrilled, as are we, with his rides to and from school. While I’m still short of an after school plan for him, at least he has a private ride home, door to door, from gan. They pick him up in front our our home at 7 am, so I just need to throw on something minimally presentable, and wait with him for a few minutes. We get to see all the dog walkers. By the time he came back today at 2 pm, he was half asleep in the taxi, but revived quickly at the mention of lunch.

I actually went to the office today, and DH was good enough to take half a day off to be here to take Matan home at 2. It’s the only day this week I’ve been able to go in, which is a bit stressful. But it’s such a relief that both of them are happy in their settings, and feel like they got what they wanted. Karen go the after school program she’s wanted since early last year, and Matan has the best pre-school we could ever have imagined. The rides to and from are icing. We don’t even need to worry about walking him to gan or whether he will be clingy. He loves the bus, and was thrilled to climb aboard this morning. The facility itself is new, and he loves the textures, calm and care. The staff act as if it’s a very expensive private facility, not something run by the municipality. The head teacher is wonderful, and has already gone above and beyond.

First day of school – we passed!

Aug 27th, 2012
by Zendette.
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We were all a little nervous about the start of the school year. Matan had been asking for a new “gan” for months, but barely mentioned it over the weekend. I was also worried about what kind of peers he would find in special ed.

Matan will be living in luxury. I doubt there are many private programs that offer the staff to child ratio he’s got. There are always at least 2, usually 3 or more adults with the 8 children. When we arrived I saw one mom I know, whose son has a speech delay. They live right near us, and her son is quiet, but very nice. In addition, I ran into another adoptive mom, apparently she remembered Matan and me from one of our adoptive family events. Her son is from Russia, and as soon as Matan saw him doing headstands in the incredibly soft astro turf, Matan had to join in and the two of them were doing somersaults and having a great time. I see at least two good potential friends for Matan, and both live in our area.

We still don’t have an after care program for him, but the head teacher told us she was working on a solution since none of the parents agreed to have our children hauled across town just to have lunch and then a free hour. The municipality was offering us a school bus to take the children, and then return them to our homes at 4 pm, but the thought of them being on a bus for up to an hour each way had all of us against it.

Karen also apparently had a good day. Her class is smaller this year because four children left, but none were added. She reported that when she first went to the meeting place for the after care program, they told her she wasn’t registered. She said she cried, but then they found her name and all was well. She was in a great mood when I picked her up, just very demanding. We called one of her girlfriends to come to the playground, but the girls and Matan really wanted to go to the pool, so I took them, even though both Karen and Matan’s behavior deteriorated after 5 pm. It was a long day for both of them.

Childcare dilemmas as the school year approaches

Aug 19th, 2012
by Zendette.
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The last week of summer vacation is stressful enough without all the worry of how the kids will deal with the new school year. Karen and I have discussed her concerns at length, so I feel she’s as prepared as possible. But Matan doesn’t quite understand, only that he’s going to a new gan. They are both going a batty with too much free time.

This coming year, Matan’s still in pre-school, one year away from formal kindergarten. We have two years to get him ready for first grade. This year we were referred to the Tel Aviv’s special education program, and Matan was accepted to a small class of only 8 children with a special education teacher, teacher’s assistant and speech and occupational therapists come in on a weekly basis. The whole format is geared towards helping each child individually and as a group, to learn to socialize and ideally, to prepare the children for mainstream first grade.

I took Matan to a play today, and it was suddenly really obvious to me that he really does need to be in a special program. Had we put him into regular, municipal preschool, he would be in a class of 35, with little personal attention, and children who would likely make him feel incapable. So, overall, I’m glad to have him in this program, but I’m really disappointed that all the reassurances we got that he would have adequate after school care until at least 4 pm was inaccurate, at best.

The city does provide a ride for him from our neighborhood, to the school. The formal school day ends at 1:30 pm, and in most cases, the children can remain until at least 4 pm in an aftercare program that gives them a hot lunch and some extra activities mixed with lots of free play or rest time. While Matan’s special ed class is located in a neighborhood not far from us, apparently the after school program for special ed kids is on the opposite side of the city. Going there would mean Matan would spend more than an hour each day in transit just get to and from this location, not including his rides to school. He can also get a special ride back to our neighborhood at 1:30, but then I’d need to find someone to take care of him for a few hours, and give him lunch, possibly a nap.

I’m trying to come up with all kinds of creative ways to make this work, and that won’t cost me more than my salary in after school care and programs. Ideally, I’d love a babysitter who was available 2x a week from about 1:30, who could receive Matan when the transit brings him back, and then make him lunch, let him nap or relax, and who could even pick Karen up at 4 if necessary. Is that too much to ask? It seems like there are either older women who want a full time job caring for children, or kids who can’t commit, especially since most still have classes when Matan gets home.

I know most parents juggle childcare responsibilities, but with all the special arrangements both of mine need, finding, keeping and scheduling all their care and activities can be overwhelming.

U.S. officials: Securing Syria’s chemical weapons could take thousands of troops – Haaretz

Aug 16th, 2012
by Zendette.
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My latest and greatest conspiracy theory on possible war in the Middle East came from this story:
U.S. officials: Securing Syria’s chemical weapons could take thousands of troops – Haaretz Daily Newspaper.

“The United States, Israel and Western powers have been discussing the nightmarish possibility that some of Assad’s chemical weapons could make their way to militant groups – al-Qaeda style Sunni Jihadi insurgents or pro-Iranian Shi’ite Lebanese fighters from Hezbollah.

Some Western intelligence sources suggested that Hezbollah and Iran’s Revolutionary Guards, both close allies of Syria, might try to get hold of the chemical weapons in the case of a total collapse of government authority.”

So perhaps all this talk of war which appears aimed at preparing Israelis for a major operation by yakking across all media about taking out Iran’s nuclear facilities, something everyone agrees won’t actually stop Iran from getting nukes, has a different goal, to prepare public opinion for something else, not a direct attack on Iran, but a ground mission to temporarily secure Syria’s WMD sites (horribly long sentence, my apologies). But then what? How can Israel hold on to them in unfriendly territory until an international force or new Syrian government can safely contain them. Barring a containment plan, it seems unlikely that anyone will be able to keep all kinds of weapons from disappearing in the eventual collapse of the Assad regime, including the most lethal. Only fanatics would be crazy enough to try and handle the stuff on their own, so it will likely be fanatics who get hold of the stuff.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could rely on the Arab League to secure them? Not that it would be in Israel’s interest, but from a global perspective, it would seem to be their responsibility when one of their member states fail.

Ok, I know it’s a completely unrealistic scenario. After leaving Lebanon, Ehud Barak isn’t going to want even a small mission into Syria. They hate us, and no Arab country would thank us for securing the WMD. The opposite, they would accuse Israel of using it as an excuse for imperialism, colonialism, and a bunch of other -isms. Better the US should let the Turks take care of it. Maybe Israel’s challenge will be to sit on the sidelines, and hold tight borders while the Turks secure, and probably acquire, Assad’s WMD.

PS, I will be pissed if Debka takes my idea and runs with it.

The long haul

Aug 13th, 2012
by Zendette.
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Its the hellish final two weeks of summer vacation, and the kids have no where to go but home. Summer camps are all over, and it’s too hot to do much outside that doesn’t involve immersion in water.

I had planned to send them both to the pool with a babysitter for some mornings during the two weeks from hell. But now it won’t work because of Matan’s cast. He can’t go to the pool. Staying inside makes them both stir crazy.

I’ll take them to a few movies, and a play, but that hardly eats up 2 weeks. Back to the sensory integration issues, Matan’s occupational therapist told me going to the gymboree, and climbing, jumping and playing in a safe environment was excellent for him. Among other things, it’s supposed to help him learn to adjust to recognize what could be dangerous. One of his problems is that he has no sense of danger in his physical environment, and will happily jump or run very unsafely if I’m not there to stop him. Luckily, he did well in a gymboree last week, even with his broken arm. He just had to make some adjustments, which he did quite well. After 2 hours in the gymboree last week, Matan was calm and relaxed. It does seem to help with a whole array of issues, including balance, self esteem and learning to understand the limitations of his physical environment.

A gymboree is a large indoor playground, where everything is padded and it often includes slides, climbing areas, small trampolines built into the structure, and other fun things to explore.

Karen is getting a little old for a gymboree, but she can still have fun, especially if she’s there with Matan. I give them at least an hour before at least one of them starts complaining about something…ok, I’d be lucky with 20 minutes…

Yep, 40 minutes, and “I’m hungry”…..

Luna Park therapy

Aug 8th, 2012
by Zendette.
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Occupational therapists have been telling me that both kids need a lot of stimulation to help them overcome their Sensory Integration issues. Stimulation can include deep muscle massage, therapeutic “brushing”, or just satisfying their need for vestibular stimulation by playing on the swings. Both kids like extremes on the playground, and neither have ever complained that a swing went too high or too fast for them.

So I was curious how they would both react to going to the Luna Park, Tel Aviv’s one and only amusement park. It’s been around so long I remember going there when I was Matan’s age. Some of the rides have also apparently been around almost that long. We were removed from the Ferris Wheel when the breaks weren’t working properly…ummm. But the kids LOVED all the rides. I thought Matan would be afraid, and he did say he was afraid before going on the first ride. After that, he went on all rides that permitted children of his size. He became upset when he was turned away from a moderate roller coaster.

Karen was in her element. She is more careful than Matan, and I expected her to show some fear. After the first round on the Ferris Wheel, where she pretended to be scared, she began going thru the park, trying each and every scary ride that I was afraid to go on. She went on them by herself. She did some pretty rough spinning things. After about 2 hours, Matan got tired so I had to take him home and K stayed with DH.

DH just called me from the Luna Park, since he had promised to stay there until late with Karen. He called to tell me she was going on free fall rides, things even he wouldn’t go on. In the background, I heard her arguing with one of the ride operators who told her she wasn’t old enough to go on the Black Mamba roller coaster, the scariest at the park. DH forgot i was on the line, and I hear him arguing with the guy, telling him she had already been on the ride once, and that she was fine to do it again. Yes, apparently Karen sneaked onto a ride that is meant for children over 10 and adults. She loved it so much she wanted to go again. Unbelievable.

Now I’m interested to see if all this over stimulation of Karen’s sensory networks will indeed give her a sense of calm. This is one of the theories behind the Occupational Therapy exercises we’ve been given for both children. The idea is if you give them their “fill” of sensory stimulation, give them as much as they want, then they won’t need to seek it elsewhere by throwing their bodies around, jumping up and down, and basically acting out physically.

Update: they both had a very good week, so at least it didn’t hurt!