K cried all the way home from a birthday party today. She cries very easily lately, but today I understood the dynamics. She first became upset when she was shoved to the back because she wasn’t pushy enough. Later, she cried because she didn’t win like she usually does when she pushes others out of the way. Her crying seems to have replaced much of her aggressiveness.

I’m happy about this change, not only because we have less anger, but because the crying indicates that she is beginning to let go, to let things out. In the past she was always a control freak, and always wanted independence and to do things alone. Now she asks for help, tells us when she’s worried about doing something on her own, and now the crying instead of pushing and being aggressive. I only wish I knew the best way to work with this new phase of hers to help her get the most out of the changes she’s experiencing. It definitely indicates an opening up, and perhaps she’ll want to examine some of her feelings around her adoption eventually. I try to make myself available, but I’m not always sure I bring her to talk about things in the best way, ask the right questions, show empathy at the right times. ‘Cause with K, if you do any of the aforementioned at the wrong time, it will just totally piss her off, like a teenager.