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Lugansk

One year ago…in Lugansk

Dec 25th, 2010
by Zendette.
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We met a tiny little boy who could barely walk 2 steps without tipping over. At 21 months, he weighed in at 8.45 kg/18.6 lbs. and his height was only 75 cm/29.5 inches. Our doctor examined him and found him in good health except for his size and development, which were under the bell curve. We’ve spent the last 12 months feeding him the most nutritious food possible, with meals as frequent as every 2 hours, at times.

I’m happy to update that today he weighs in at 12.5 kg/27.5 lbs and 90 cm/35.4 inches. He is now in at least the 15th percentile on the charts I was given. His developmental delays continue to close the gap as well. He’s now climbing stairs by switching feet, right then left, instead of relying on only one foot to ascend the incline each time. I know, it doesn’t sound like much to non parents, but I, like most, get so excited by the change.

Karen will soon be six, and she’s very tall and muscular. She and I now wear the same sock size….and she’ll be up to my shoe size in no time. I expect to start losing boots shortly…She’s now weighs 25 kg/55 lbs and is 4 feet tall!

I related our first vist with Matan on Dec. 27, 2009, here.

Ghost of Christmas past

Dec 23rd, 2010
by Zendette.
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After 10 days in Kiev, we took the overnight train to Lugansk exactly one year ago, on Christmas Eve. Ukrainians celebrate Orthodox Christmas, so nothing was special about this day. In fact, we lost track of time, and I don’t think were even aware that it was actually Christmas Eve. We booked a private bunk and spent the first few hours playing with Karen and getting excited about spending our first night ever on a train. I took a romantic approach, and after going to the samovar lady for tea, sat back and thought of Anna Karenina.

Things started off well enough, but the overheated cabin soon had me go from giggly, to uncomfortable, to raging headache. We finally figured out how to open the window sometime after midnight. I managed a few hours of sleep. Photos are from the first 1-2 hours, when it still seemed like a good idea.

On Christmas Day, we arrived in Lugansk, and went directly to the baby home to meet Matan. Here are his first photos. I originally posted this last year Rakevet Laila L’Lugansk.


Yes, Karen photographed the one of DH and I. She went on to photograph each detail of both apartments we stayed in during our 45 day incarceration.

Classic Mustang, aging chassis

Jan 23rd, 2010
by Zendette.
4 comments
That was what I dreamed about last night, after we completed our escape from Lugansk.  The full body ache of carrying Matan, all 8.5 kg of him, from Lugansk all the way to Kiev was not something this old body is used to.  
I know Tamar warned me, again and again, but a stroller would just have been even more of a hindrance.  I can’t imagine climbing the slippery stairs from tarmac to plane and back down again with anything more than we already had with us.  DH took responsibility for Karen, and all hand baggage, and it was almost more than he could manage. 
It seemed almost like a military mission.  We got the passport, not before a final attempt to convince us it would take another week.  A call to our agency, and we got it same day. 

Goodbye Babyhome

 

Thursday afternoon we picked Matan up from the baby home.  The caretakers all gathered around to wish him goodbye.  I thought I saw a tear or two.  It was clear they were both happy for him, but sad to see him go.  They were happy to take a group shot. 

We spent one last night in Lugansk with him, and flew out of there at 6 am.  To my surprise, Matan managed to sleep, and we made it to the airport, even though our facilitators told us they were worried about us flying in “terrible weather”.  

We were pleasantly surprised by the fact that our 1 hour flight (instead of 16 hours by train), was on a decent sized jet and the flight was smooth as silk with clear skies and a good pilot and crew.  The view was fantastic, white fields as far as the eye could see and a beautiful sunrise. 

View from above - approach to Kiev

 

I think it was an Ebraer jet, and belonged to a small, Ukrainian charter company called Dnieproavia.  Great flight.  But this old body isn’t used to carrying 8.5 kilos for 5 hours – to the airport, thru security and and somewhat against his will while waiting to board.  He really wanted to walk around, but was so tired he was falling all over the place, and putting his mouth on everything, so in my arms it had to be.  

I wasn’t able to update or access Internet from the time we got Matan’s passport until just now.  Everything happened so fast, and we had to quickly pack up 4 pieces of luggage, get the kids, and ourselves a few hours of sleep before leaving.  

Sergey, our driver, met us at the airport and took us to the same apartment in Kiev that we spent or first week in.   Unfortunately, we only got the modem late last night, and it didn’t work.  Needless to say, I was in serious withdrawal, plus I knew family was waiting to hear from us via Skype, this blog, or email.  We had no way of communicating with anyone outside of Ukraine.  

Early this morning, our adoption family buddies, Tal and Sagit, called us, and with some encouragement from them, we managed to get the modem connected.  Bad wires mean we could lose it anytime, so I’m uploading this and will give more details shortly….if it’s still working.  I love you all and miss everyone so much.  We can’t wait to come home!  

Dear readers

Jan 19th, 2010
by Zendette.
4 comments

I’m just thrilled to see how many readers are actually interested in our story.  I get a country report listing where your IP is located.  I think I can guess who my regular reader in Slovakia is, a good friend and customer, unless I”m mistaken.

I’ve also noticed regular readers in South Africa.  I have no idea who this can be, but I’m happy that our story is engaging enough to bring you back.  I’d love to know who you are, if you aren’t too shy to introduce yourself/ves. 

Today we should be putting in the formal request for Matan’s passport.  It doesn’t look like we’ll make it home by this weekend, but a good chance we will finally make it out of Lugansk with 2 children, and be able to spend the weekend in Kiev.  Then just apostille and visa early next week, and we are ready to board the first plane out of Borispol!

I’ll update as we go….and again, thank you everyone for your support and for reading my blog.  Writing it has helped maintain my sometimes wavering sanity and knowing you are reading is a nice little ego stroke that makes me smile and keeps me motivated to continue writing.

Over the frozen tundra

Jan 18th, 2010
by Zendette.
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First, apologies, but no photos today.  Had I known we would be travelling 200 km to Svatova, in the northernmost region of Lugansk province, I would have brought the camera, and maybe some food and a bottle of water for the day long trip as well.  But no, our facilitator has a great sense of humor and likes to surpise us at the last minute.

Today we finally got the formal court decision granting us custody.  This allowed us to obtain Matan’s birth certificate, have it put into our names, and will also allow us to get a Ukrainian passport for him so we can leave the country.  But one step at a time.  We understood that today, the facilitator would only need DH to go thru some formalities at the notary, and some other local offices.  We called at 9:30 to find out what time to be ready.  The faciliator was hysterical, “the hospital blew up in a huge explosion.  The 5th floor collapsed on the 4th floor and we are stuck in endless traffic as ambulances are taking the dead and injured away”.  Away to where, one might ask, since that is the only hospital within a reasonable distance…..But anyway….20 minutes later, she calls, tells us that she will pick us up in 10 minutes, and that we both need to come.  Originally, she told us that today, she would need only one of us.  This meant, dress, get ready, and get Karen ready.  Ok, we can that. 

12 minutes later, we are downstairs and getting into the car.  Only once I see we are driving in the opposite direction from the notary, do I innocently ask, “where are we going?”  The reply, “oh, we must travel 200 km to Svatova to get Matan’s birth cerificate”. Oh.  Thanks.  I really would have liked to pack a lunch, water, and something for Karen to do during an 8 hour journey, round trip.  Why 8 hours?  Because the roads are frozen.  They are bad to begin with, with only a single lane in each direction (on the better parts), but with the heavy snow storms and -12 C temps, the authorities advised against all but absolutely necessary travel on roads running between cities.  The bright side of this meant that there were few other private cars on the road.  The not so bright side was that we shared the highway (I use the term loosely), with trucks, both commercial and military.  The few private cars played chicken to overtake the lumbering giants – as did we.

I’m glad we were all in the back seat, even if it was crowded in the tiny Chinese or N. Korean tin can we were riding in.  The suicide seat got the best view of oncoming behemoths and the other tin cans crazily trying to overtake. 

Luckily, the facilitator and translator both smoke like crazy, so we were at least able to stop once for a bathroom break (behind a shed), and to buy coffee, water and chips.   We got to the city, got the papers after about an hour wait, as it was apparently a holiday, and the office we needed was officially closed.  You gotta wonder why every single office we need, is always closed for some holiday on the day we go for papers in this Land of the Lost.

Life is good.  We are now back in our warm apartment and DH is making us a nice dinner.  Karen just wants a hot bath, hot chocolate, and the laptop so she can play Tarzan on it.  The poor kid’s become an addict over the past month.

Passport issue update, and more snow expected

Jan 15th, 2010
by Zendette.
4 comments

View from our apartment this morning

 

  We awoke to snow that is expected to continue until the end of next week.  Here’s a photo of how lovely things are looking now.      

I’m reading the FRUA boards now for updates. It sounds like at least one of the American families was able to resolve the issue.  They did not give details.     

On a bright note, today we took Matan out of the baby house for the first time.  We took him to get his passport photo taken.  One of the baby home caretakers came with us, but he only wanted me to hold him.  He didn’t cry at all, and even looked out the window and laughed a few times.  This was very different from Karen’s first car ride to get photos done.  She cried the entire time and it was hard to get a photo without tears that could be used for the passport.  One more week….with luck!

Meeting the grupa and seeing the inside workings of Lugansk Baby Home

Jan 5th, 2010
by Zendette.
5 comments

We are beginning to feel right at home when we visit Matan.  As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, we had the rare opportunity to play with him while his entire grupa was there.  We arrived a bit early, and found that what we thought was a special room for foreigners, actually doubles as a larger playroom for the kids.   

When we arrived he was there with all his buds.  The ratio of caretakers to children was very good, between 2-3 children per adult.  Most of the caretakers were interacting with the children in a positive manner, with play, dance and physical contact.  Overall, very impressive.  The children were a mixture of healthy and some with Downs.  All were playing quite nicely together. 

We were invited to play in  same room since our alternate playroom was not available.   Matan showed immediately that he wasn’t pleased to be sharing his special visit with the rest of the grupa.  He threw himself on the ground and screwed up his face in the closest thing I’ve yet seen to a tantrum from him.  In this photo, he is doing the only rocking I’ve seen yet.  Many of the children came up to us for attention, but once I gently, but firmly pointed them in another direction, and maintained my focus on Matan, he slowly began to relax.  Not so with Karen.  She got really freaked out by all the small children coming up to her and touching her.  She “escaped” by climbing on the furniture and sitting high enough that they couldn’t reach her.  She came back a few times to try and play with Matan, but each time, she ended up whispering that she was scared by all the children touching her.  

This second photo shows one of the caretakers holding two children while “dancing” with a third.  I think it is a really good shot that indicates the overall level of care shown by the staff.  The whole grupa returned to their room after about 45 minutes, and we remained with Matan and Karen.  As posted yesterday (sorry for the repeat), we had a wonderful response from him when we gave him a jar of mashed fruit which he quickly polished off.  He then proceeded to eat the banana we offered.  He even took the bottle, although it is clear that he still isn’t quite sure why we keep giving it to him.  We also saw him put his thumb in his mouth.  We never saw any thumb sucking with Karen.  None of the children use pacifiers.

I didn’t feel comfortable taking photos of the caretakers and children at play since we were unable to ask their permission.  But Karen has become quite the photographer, so I gave her the camera and he took most of these photos.  Pretty good for an almost five year old!

Later in the day we went shopping and bought Karen a new winter coat.  Here she is showing off as the girl in red.  The photo was taken just outside of the building we’re living in.  I promise some more photos, maybe tomorrow, of our neighborhood and apartment to give an idea of what the “better” part of Lugansk looks like.

Photo of the day

Dec 30th, 2009
by Zendette.
3 comments

Today we couldn’t visit Matan.  They were having important guests attending a New Year’s celebration for the children.  The baby home director asked us to wait until tomorrow to visit.  We spent the day walking around downtown Lugansk. 

Filling in the blanks

Dec 29th, 2009
by Zendette.
4 comments

So what happened during our “lost days”, while we were offline?  Actually, it all happened over Christmas so no one really noticed we were shut down.

On the day we arrived in Lugansk, after meeting Matan and completing his medical exam, we needed a place to stay.  Now this is one of the major cash cows for the facilitator, who usually gets a cut.  In most cases they present you with an apartment, a daily price, and you can either take it, or go to a hotel.  The hotel option is terrible for two reasons.  First, you can’t cook and with Karen, it is even more important that we have a kitchen.  Second, when you go to a hotel, you must first show ID. Only after you show your passport, are you given the price.  Basically, if you are foreign, a hotel starts at 100 EUR + per night.  When you consider that we will be here for a minimum of 25 days, you begin to see that the initial agency fee is only one part of  the overall expense. 

Our goal then, is to find a reasonably priced apartment with a gas range and washing machine that is reasonably clean and an easy walk to shopping, especially a supermarket.  We can survive in a Studio, but are better off with a 1 bdrm.

At the end of our meeting between  our driver, Sasha (who speaks no English), and our agency director, the director told us that Sasha had a fantastic place for us to stay “only” 80 USD a night in a 3 level mansion with a full time cook who would prepare all meals for us and do our laundry.  Sounds great, right?  Keep in mind that when we adopted Karen, we had a Studio apartment that cost us only 25 USD a night, but had no washing machine, and it was filthy.  Not someplace I would be willing to stay with Karen, although it met our needs at the time.

We explained to our agency director that while it sounded wonderful, DH really doesn’t like the local cuisine, and we would prefer a simple place where we can cook our own food.  Our director told us not to worry, that Sasha would look after us, and then he left.  Sasha motioned us to the car, and took us to the mansion.

Too be continued…..