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Matan said “snow”

Mar 16th, 2012
by Zendette.
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Broke his arm at gan this week, awwww, baby

The good news is that Matan’s speech is improving, but not quickly enough. He was evaluated to determine the best pre-school special education program he will need next year. In addition to speech and emotional development, he also needs help with fine motor skills and general development. While we believe he was in a “better” orphanage, but he was still one of 12 children who lived in a very small room with almost no stimulation except their interactions with each other. Even today when he is in a new space he likes to go around and touch everything in the room.

During the two years that have flown by since we adopted him he’s been in speech and occupational therapy on a regular basis. But apparently this hasn’t been enough. We don’t have a prognosis of how he’s expected to do next year, with the full support of a special education staff, but I’m sure the small group of only 10 children, and rigorous occupational and speech therapies on site will help him vastly improve on his current delays. At least I hope so.

He continues to be a charming and adorable little boy. Everyone loves him, and he’s friendly and generous. But he can play with his trucks and tractors all day, and dislikes being challenged by other activities. We are so lucky that he has Karen. She plays with him, talks to him, and in general acts as a guide. He adores her and I can’t imagine how much more delayed he would have been without a big sister.

Yes, after drafting the above post, I got a call from Matan’s pre-school that he appears to have injured his arm and should see a doctor right away. Turned out to be a double fracture above the wrist. Poor kid didn’t understand why I wouldn’t remove his cast at night so he could go to sleep. He’s getting used to it now.

Yakking away

Jan 15th, 2012
by Zendette.
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While there may seem to have been much focus on Karen this month, Matan too has made great strides in language and play while we navigate the complex municipal procedures to have Matan in a speech school next year. The Center for Childhood Development has helped guide us through the circuitous process, but even with their backing, the municipality is a law unto themselves. We were supposed to have a review board that decides whether to admit Matan by end of February, but due to “internal problems at the municipality”, this is now pushed to April, at which time I’m sure it will be pushed again for Passover.

Matan’s vocabulary is improving almost daily, but he still shies away from using verbs. Most of the work I do with him focuses on using verbs and helping him become more independent, something he is also eager to increase. He’s unambiguous about stating what he wants and doesn’t want, which is great in terms of communication, and development. He enjoys playing with peers, but prefers being with me over most anything else. He’s become much more strident in his “NO”, and bawls when he doesn’t get his way. This is frustrating for me, but I understand how important it is for him to find his sense of self in this way.

The most beautiful part of having both children is seeing the two of them playing together, watching over each other and falling asleep together. True, they do fight, but it’s so limited compared to the amount of time they are happy together. Karen really loves feeling like she takes care of him. If he cries because I told him “no” to something, she will immediately come to his defense. She even makes breakfast (cereal and milk) for him some mornings. She’s learned that if she wants to eat cereal in peace and quiet, then she’ll have to make him a small bowl too.

Breaking out of his shell

Feb 15th, 2010
by Zendette.
3 comments

Matan at a playground with sand

Now that he’s beginning to feel better, and has become acclimated to our home and immediate surroundings, Matan seems like an amazingly happy little boy. His needs at this point are pretty simple and straightforward. He needs healthy food and lots of one-on-one affection and cuddlies.

Exploring our park

I know I’ve mentioned it in previous posts, but it amazes me how much Karen and Matan seem to love each other. It seems that Karen would rather come home and play with Matan than spend time with girlfriends. She wants to show him off to adults, but gets jealous if her friends pay him too much attention. I’m not sure if she’s jealous of the attention he’s getting, or that other children are taking up his attention span when she would rather he focused only on her. She even seems to want to prove that she’s a better mother than I am. She would be thrilled to take over his feeding and changing and bathing and all the other activities she associates with caring for him.

Matan has lots of toys and books at different levels, gratis Karen. He is calmer than Karen, and I’ve been able to sit with him for up to 5 minutes with a board book. He especially likes one book with animals and fuzzy fur that he can touch. He loves rubbing his face in different textures. When we go for walks, he likes to look at the grass, trees and shrubs. But what he really enjoys is putting his whole face into a leafy bush or directly against the grass so that he can feel the textures. I took him to the playground yesterday. He liked the swings and carousel, but best of all, he loved playing with dried leaves that had accumulated on the ground. He also loves touching sand. Luckily, we have a lot of sand here.

A portrait of my not quite ready for prime time life

Feb 5th, 2010
by Zendette.
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Karen's surprise welcome home party at pre-school

Karen's surprise welcome home party at pre-school

Clearly, not a still life. Karen woke me at the gracious hour of 7 am, standing at my bedside to tell me she was wet. Not sweat. Even though she has been out of day diapers for almost 2 years now, we still can’t manage to have consistently dry nights. We’ve used nighttime pull ups, we take her to the bathroom at least once before we go to sleep. We always take her at 9:30. Usually, if we are still awake at 11, we’ll take her again around that time. We missed our second bathroom visit. It was a mistake.

So she’s looking contrite, and wet from her socks to her shirt. I take her into the bathroom to shower and get dressed. Meanwhile, DH is still groggily abed, and Matan is calling loudly, “ug, ug, ug”, from the kid’s room. I ask DH to help, and he rather ungraciously raises himself, muttering, and goes in to change a rather nasty morning diaper on Matan.

She’s very protective of Matan, and almost seems to think he’s her own baby. I ask her not to pick him up, but sometimes I just turn a blind eye so that I’m not constantly on her about picking him up and dragging him around. He doesn’t usually complain, and sometimes appears to be greatly enjoying her attentions.

It’s strange watching my feelings for Matan. Clearly I don’t have the same depth of feeling for him that I have developed over 3 years for Karen. I keep wondering how long until you feel like this is really your kid. I remember that with Karen I sometimes wondered if it would ever happen. And it just crept up on me. With Matan, I’m sure the feelings will develop. He’s so much easier, so part of me is hoping it will go faster. At least he lets me baby him. Karen was always so rebellious and independent. Even at 2.5, she wanted to make sure I loved her on her terms!

I was so touched on her behalf when her teachers put together a well planned surprise party to honor Karen and the new addition to her family.